Star Wars: The Last Jedi — Full Review

A long time ago, nowhere near here, some Jedis lived and died but there was just one left and he was Luke Skywalker on the island on that planet where Rey found him with his thing which he threw away next to the penguin/owls that look like good eatin’ except they look at you so don’t do it. There is good and evil in each of us, and The Force is not The Force. Meanwhile, Kylo Ren has the Supreme Leader and there are no dentists in the galaxy. Kylo pops up and Rey pops up and they talk. A lot. Meanwhile, the Empire is trying to wipe out the last of the Rebel Alliance, so Finn and Rose Tico — who is sort of Finn’s girlfriend, except that I thought that Rey was sort of Finn’s girlfriend — have to go to the place to steal something or blow something up except they race horse/camels through Mar-A-Lago and then go back to one of the ships because stuff is blowing up and the lady in the evening gown saves everybody and gets killed because they now are hiding in the big cave but the giant canon is coming so Luke uses The Force on Kylo Ren and the evil British guy while Rey lifts the rocks and the foxes and everybody else goes out the back. In the end, most is lost, but all is not lost because of the children. They are our future.

2.5 Stars

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