Solo: A Star Wars Story: Full Review

The scene they ripped off from Runaway Train (1985) was pretty good, but otherwise… m’eh.

2 Stars.

Advertisements

Star Wars: The Last Jedi — Full Review

A long time ago, nowhere near here, some Jedis lived and died but there was just one left and he was Luke Skywalker on the island on that planet where Rey found him with his thing which he threw away next to the penguin/owls that look like good eatin’ except they look at you so don’t do it. There is good and evil in each of us, and The Force is not The Force. Meanwhile, Kylo Ren has the Supreme Leader and there are no dentists in the galaxy. Kylo pops up and Rey pops up and they talk. A lot. Meanwhile, the Empire is trying to wipe out the last of the Rebel Alliance, so Finn and Rose Tico — who is sort of Finn’s girlfriend, except that I thought that Rey was sort of Finn’s girlfriend — have to go to the place to steal something or blow something up except they race horse/camels through Mar-A-Lago and then go back to one of the ships because stuff is blowing up and the lady in the evening gown saves everybody and gets killed because they now are hiding in the big cave but the giant canon is coming so Luke uses The Force on Kylo Ren and the evil British guy while Rey lifts the rocks and the foxes and everybody else goes out the back. In the end, most is lost, but all is not lost because of the children. They are our future.

2.5 Stars

X-Men: Apocalypse — full review

Watched it on the HBO. Lots of stuff blowed up, but in the end, the world was saved.

Here’s what happens:
In ancient times, the Pharoah got killed by those who thought he was a false god, but then in the future which was 1983 a guy’s family from Poland got killed which is why he became Magneto because of what happened in Cuba last time which is why the CIA lady and a bad Army dude had captured the wolfman, which was Wolverine, but he ran away into the snow at the secret place because Professor Xavier said embrace your power to the girl who helped wolfman both now and in the future when the ex-Pharoah guy tried to wreck everything, but the good mutants reunited to stop him and also fixed up the mutant mansion that blowed up real good because the bridges came down and everything since the Bronze Age because…metal.

After that, things got a little confusing.

2 Stars

Favorite 2016 Videos

Produced in various years, these are the videos I enjoyed watching in 2016.

Just in time for Christmas. If you’ve been crossed off Santa’s list, not to worry.

Without the Gabor sisters, we never would have had the Kardashians! See Zsa Zsa deliver her most memorable line! See an intrepid spaceman attacked by a stuffed animal! And through it all…acting! You’re welcome.

Hef, Barbie Benton, Jack Cassidy, Hal Frazier and Buddy Rich doing a “wild number”? Did it ever get any cooler than Playboy After Dark?

I have no idea what this is, but I can’t stop watching it.

Not to be outdone by slobbering dogs, this is the coolest cat video of 2012. An old favorite.

Dog. Cat. Now rat — taking care of his business.

Before there was “daytime talk,” there was the weekday afternoon movie.

And finally, this one — which I thought was hilarious during the summer — hit a little too close to home.